Just got a letter from my internet services provider, telling me I owe them lots of money. I have a direct debit for this - one of the few - so I phoned them straight away.
Turns out that the last payment made on my account was 29th June 2012. Yup, a year ago. At this point I can't even call to mind which card this bill is on, so I queried the fact that they have apparently been requesting payment, and getting it turned down, for a year now without saying anything. "We've just had a new credit control system installed..." - "Sounds like you needed to" - "...and it's thrown up this account as a long-term debt".
I explained that I pay this account using a credit card, and (a) I can't actually recall which credit card and (b) if it did actually expire a year ago it would have been cut up and thrown away a year ago. So I told her I'd work out which account it was, and have a go at the bank for rejecting payments every month for a year without ever bothering to mention this little fact.
I can only think that this payment is on the credit card that I never use, because otherwise I would be looking at the account every month when I pay the bill. Ah well. The really annoying thing is that, because of this "serious deficiency", they won't allow me to set up a new credit card payment, it's going to have to be a debit card. And I HATE having direct debits on my current account, so I think I'm going to feed some money into an old current account that I never use and put the direct debit on that, rather than on the account I use all the time. I hate not having control of my accounts, and I've had too many instances of people taking more money than they're supposed to take, three or four days early, so I end up with an unexpected overdraft.
Finally, a wtf moment: the wording actually used in the letter was "your credit card has been declining". For a moment there I seriously thought they somehow had access to my actual balance. I explained to the very friendly woman at the ISP that as far as I'm concerned, this phrase either means that it's getting ill and going into a decline, which doesn't seem too likely for a piece of plastic, or the balance has been going down, which I really hope is not information they have access to. Unsurprisingly, she said I was the first person ever to have mentioned this, but that she would pass my comments on. I said I may have been born with a red pen in my hand but that in my opinion, the credit card was not the actor here, the bank was, so the credit card wasn't doing anything at all and it was the bank that was doing the declining. In more ways than one, obviously. She said again that no-one else had ever mentioned this, but she didn't say it in that way people usually do, meaning "so you're obviously completely wrong, loser". Which makes a nice change.