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LOMFic - Thoughts - Gene/Sam - dorsetgirl
March 22nd, 2009
10:55 pm
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LOMFic - Thoughts - Gene/Sam

Title: Thoughts

Author: DorsetGirl

Fandom: Life on Mars

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters or their universe. BBC/Kudos do. I’m not making any money out of this.

Rating: Green Cortina for suggested sex

Word Count:  100

Summary: Gene knew how he wanted it to be, their first time.

A/N: Hmm. Bit weird, not at all sure it works. I think it was when I started writing drabbles that my writing started to go downhill. Some people use the form brilliantly, but for me it just seems to function as a lazy substitute for having the time and application to develop an idea and write it properly.

 

 

 

 

Thoughts

 

 

I’d thought about it a lot.

 

* * *

 

Tight, taut nipples; nibbles, nips, licks, lips, licking. Touching, holding, loving.

 

Draw back, draw breath, hold on.

 

* * *

 

How it was going to be.

 

* * *

 

Tight, taut tummy; smooth, stroke, touch, tease, kiss.

 

Hold back, keep calm, hold tight.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t like that of course. Never could be.

 

* * *

 

I mucked it up - gasped and groaned, sweated and swore, rutted and roared like some primitive beast.

 

And after, quiet and close, he laughed till he cried, smiled and sobbed, and said he’d thought about it a lot.

 

How it was going to be.

 

* * *

 

And it was good.

 

* * *




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Comments
 
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From:gritsinmisery
Date:March 23rd, 2009 01:18 am (UTC)
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I officially pronounce this fic full of both "N'awwwwwwwww" and "Sqeeeeee!"
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:March 24th, 2009 02:14 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! I quite liked it - well, enough to post it here, anyway - but it is rather odd, and I couldn't quite work out what to do with it, so I'm very pleased it worked for you. Thanks for commenting.
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From:ac_123
Date:March 23rd, 2009 01:39 am (UTC)
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D'awwwww...

I don't think your writing has diminished in any way. This is just as adorable and engaging as anything else I've read of yours.
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:March 24th, 2009 02:17 pm (UTC)
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Ooh, 'adorable' is great, thank you very much!

I don't get so much private time on the computer now, so there's always the temptation to get something done quickly rather than take the time on it. I'm glad you enjoyed it anyway, and thanks for commenting.
From:severinne
Date:March 25th, 2009 02:18 am (UTC)
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See, I think this is everything about what makes a drabble such a bloody great writing exercise - it has all the impact of many longer versions of this type of scene, and in a significant way is even stronger for being so short, like the quick passage of the moment is feeding into that hint of anticlimax that Gene is feeling over the raw realism of that first time. And frankly, the glimpses of eroticism are wildly inspiring, mmn.

I'd missed seeing your writing lately, and this is a lovely taster in the meantime. Thank you :)
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:March 25th, 2009 10:12 am (UTC)
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the glimpses of eroticism are wildly inspiring, mmn

Ooh, more Severinne porn! *reviews stock of clean knickers*

Thank you my dear, I'm very happy that you liked this; this was one that I scribbled down in the car one afternoon because I just had to - that doesn't happen often enough nowadays. I just wish I could stop Gene alliterating all the time.

I do have something nearly ready to post at the comm; I've been stalled for months on a chapter of Survival, because (a) it needs some fine crafting to make it work properly and I haven't got the time or patience at the moment, and (b) I've got myself in a position where I need to think about the plot points I want to cover. There are just too many as it stands, and it's getting muddled.

So, I've backed off there for a while and allowed myself to do something else instead! Thanks for a lovely comment.
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