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LoMFic - Mind Fuck - dorsetgirl
January 20th, 2008
01:48 am
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LoMFic - Mind Fuck

Title:             Mind Fuck

Author:         DorsetGirl

Fandom:       Life on Mars

Disclaimer:   I don’t own these characters or their universe. BBC/Kudos do. I’m not making any money out of this.

Rating:          Brown Cortina for male/male sex

Word Count: 124

Pairing:         Sam/Gene

Summary:     How to make Sam stop thinking

Author’s Note: So I had a chopping-board moment while cooking tea, and scribbled this down on an old pizza box. I was a bit surprised that no ending came along to join it, and now, four hours later, I don’t think it’s going to. Not at all sure why it’s second person, only done that once before. Not posting to Lifein1973.

 

 

 

Mind Fuck

 

“Gene, oh God, Gene ... fuck ... me,”  Sam gasps, his body taut and slick beneath you.

 

Even through the wild arousal, this tickles the funny side, and you smile.

 

“I am doing, you daft bugger. I don’t go red and pant like this for nothing, you know.”

 

He looks so adorable laid out before you, ripe for the taking, open and trusting and available.

 

The glazed eyes clear and the man – that mind – is there, looking up and grinning. “More purple, I’d say, Guv. Or is that just your knob?”

 

“Cheeky sod”, you retort, contemplating stopping, just to show him. Then “Bugger that,” you think, speeding up instead, driving the mind of the man you love, just for a while, back into neutral.




END

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From:sytaxia
Date:February 5th, 2008 05:45 am (UTC)
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Oooh, this was a great little snippet - I love the way that you've written it second person directed towards Gene, because it's such a rare and refreshing perspective, and I love the way that Gene is thinking about pushing Sam's mind into neutral, not even realizing that he's the one doing all of the thinking in the piece, which is a very lovely parallel, and quite sexy, too. Great job!
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:February 6th, 2008 12:08 am (UTC)
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I've no idea why it's second person; it just came to me that way. I did rewrite it so it was all third person, but it really seemed to lose something, so I put it back.

not even realizing that he's the one doing all of the thinking in the piece

I didn't even see that; I love how a reader can find things the writer wasn't aware of.

I'm shattered now, so I'm going to bed, and I'll answer the rest of your comments tomorrow; thank you very much for taking the time to catch up, I really do appreciate it.
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