Once a fortnight I get an evening off, while OH takes his turn at taking the kids to ju-jitsu, and I've been doing Ashes rewatches during that couple of hours. So tonight I thought I'd watch Ashes 3.08 again.
I started from the moment Gene turns up at the farmhouse. Yes, I watch for Gene, and only Gene. I don't mind Alex any more; was pleased to find Shaz is actually from the Nineties because I always thought her outspoken-ness was anachronistic for the Eighties; am disturbed to find that I actually quite like Ray and feel sorry for him now.
But I've only ever watched Ashes for Gene, and I imagined that having finally got to the end I might write various fics based on the universe as we now know it, or on the finale, or Gene's history, or whatever. But no. I have no urge whatsoever to write fic about the Ashes universe even now it's all tied up to my satisfaction with Life on Mars, and that really hurts.
The difficulty is that my inspiration has always been Sam/Gene. Previous to my first fics in 2007, I hadn't written a story of any kind since 'O' Levels in 1973, and I had never chosen to write fiction, however short, in my entire life. And then Sam came along, and the whole question of who he was, and who DCI Sam Williams was, followed very closely by my realisation that I was unhappy to see Sam back in 2006 because he belonged with Gene.
Since then, I've written a fair amount of Gene/Sam fic, and I hope - I desperately hope - that I will write more. Because in the past three years I've begun to think of myself as a person who writes, and I like that. I want to write. But I don't do plot, and I don't do planning very well, and I need characters to talk to me.
Sam and Gene always did, and to a lesser extent still do. I don't wake up with them talking in my head any more - I guess that's only to be expected - but I still often think about situations and experiences in terms of what Sam and Gene would do.
And the only stories I've written in the Ashes 'verse have been about Sam, and Gene's relationship with him. To be honest - with the best will in the world, and all apologies to Keeley, who did a good job with her - I just don't care that much about Alex. She doesn't speak to me. I really want to write more Gene/Sam, but the mysteries of the universe are a bit too confusing at the moment.
There's only one story that's calling to me right now, and that's Gene's story, as he kicks down the door to the farmhouse and realises exactly what he's got himself into. I have no idea whether I'll ever write it, but I'm not sure I'll be writing anything else in the short term, apart from the occasional Drabble Challenge.
So there we have it. I want to write. I have a story. I have a houseful of teenage boys I might be able to use for the attitudes, the confidence, whatever. But I dunno. Poor little baby!Gene just ain't talking to me yet.
Perhaps I'll go through my WIP folder and see if anything else speaks to me. After half-term, that is.