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LOMFIC - dorsetgirl
November 11th, 2007
09:38 pm
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Title:                Saying It

Author:             DorsetGirl

Fandom:          Life on Mars

Disclaimer:      I don’t own these characters or their universe. BBC/Kudos do. I’m not making any money out of this.

Rating:             Brown Cortina for smutty slash. PWP.

Pairing:            Gene/Sam

Spoiler:            None.

Word Count:   2,000

Summary:       Thinking it – that’s easy. But Sam knew he had to say it. And what would the Guv do?

A/N:                 I posted this to <lj comm=Lifein1973> a few days ago. It was going to be the second half of something I started a few weeks ago. But that’s very angsty and I couldn’t get in the mood for it, so I thought I’d post this as a stand-alone. Not beta’d.





Saying It


“So Tyler. Tell me what’s so important I’ve got to keep my pint waiting to hear it. And tell me why I’ve got to hear it down here.” Gene lit a cigarette and waited, the assorted junk of Lost and Found looming silently all around him. 

Sam sat back, ran a hand through his hair. “It’s just, after yesterday, I wanted to tell you, ...um...” God, this was even more difficult than he’d expected. Yesterday the words had been lined up in his throat clamouring to be spoken. He’d had to clench his teeth to keep them in, concentrating instead on the practicalities.


Now they were cowering in the back of his head, refusing to come out. He sat forward, hands and elbows on the edge of the table, and tried again, looking Gene right in the eye.


“Look. I know you won’t want to hear this, but I promised myself I’d tell you anyway.” He paused again, clenched his hands together. “Shit, Gene, I thought you were gonna die!”


“Is that it?” Gene looked at him in disbelief. “Is that what I’m missing good drinking time for? ‘I thought you were gonna die.’? Well, strange as it may seem to you, Tyler, I was aware of that fact already! Something to do with the knife at me throat and the gibberin’ lunatic at the other end of it!”


“No, that’s not what I’m trying to say.” Sam took a deep breath. “Guv, I... I would never have said this; I was never going to say this – but then I thought that you were going to die and I’d never ... that you’d never know I ...” He stopped again, fighting for calm. He’d promised himself he wouldn’t let the tears come, but his throat was closing up again as he remembered Gene lying helpless and threatened on the ground.


Gene watched him, his entire body still as Sam fought the inner voice that telling him he really shouldn’t be saying this.


“Guv, it’s ... I, that is, ...I ... I love you. I want to be with you. Want to hold you, kiss you, m-m-make l-love to you.” He’d said it. And he was still alive, so far. “When I saw you like that yesterday, and I knew it was too late, it was never going to happen, it was like the end of my life too.”


He’d closed his eyes, he realised, not so much from embarrassment as from the need to get all the words out in the right order without distraction from those green eyes.


Now he opened his eyes and looked at Gene, who had sat back from the table, dragging at his cigarette and watching him closely.


“I’m sorry, like I said, I know you don’t want to hear it, but ... I had to say it. Believe me, I’m sorry.”


He got up to go. Turning back to face Gene momentarily, he said “I won’t come to the pub tonight Guv. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He smiled faintly. “Don’t worry, everything back to normal by then. I won’t go all Dorothy on you in front of everybody.” He turned and headed for the door.


“Sit down, Tyler.”


Sam turned back, uncertainly. “Guv, I...”


“I said, sit down. I sat here listening to what you had to say. Now you listen to me.”


Sam sat down, further away from the table than before. Nearer to the door. This was it, then. Application for transfer, punch in the guts, demotion to stationery cupboard monitor in the short term. Too late now to wish he’d never said anything.


“I’ll give you this, Tyler,” Gene began. “You’ve got bigger balls than I gave you credit for. When you were crying over me fallen form yesterday – oh yes, don’t think I didn’t notice – I never thought in a million years you’d get up the nerve to say anything.”


“You knew?”


“Not until that moment, to be fair. Bit of a shock, what with everything else.”


“It’s just,” Sam faltered, “I needed you to know, that’s all. And I’ve said it now, and it doesn’t have to be said again. We can forget it and move on.”


He got up again; he needed to go home and collapse. He was already shaking with the crazy adrenalin high caused by having actually got all the words out without being attacked.


Tyler! Sit. Down. And this time, stay down until I say you can move!”


Sam sat down for the third time, fear and apprehension starting to creep in round the edges of the adrenalin rush.


“OK, Tyler. So you’ve been a very brave boy. You’ve told your senior officer you want to shag him and have his babies. Now what? Where does this leave me, do you think?” Gene stared at him, smoke rising from the neglected cigarette in his hand.


“Guv, please. I only told you because I thought you were going to die, and I knew that if you came through I just had to tell you.” Sam was getting annoyed now; he’d said his piece, he just wanted to get away before he made even more of a fool of himself. “You don’t have to keep rubbing it in, Guv. I don’t deserve that.”


“Shut up, Tyler. Stop your girly prattling for one minute, for God’s sake.”


“Guv, please, I...”


“I said, shut it. OK, where was I? Oh yeah, you want to marry me and be the perfect wife.”


Sam closed his eyes and prepared to block out whatever humiliation Gene might choose to dole out next.


“So, now you’ve told me your little secret, what do you want me to do about it? Hey? Come on, Tyler, you’ve thrown this ticking time bomb on me desk, you can’t just walk off and expect me to ignore it!” Gene leaned across the table, speaking quietly and intensely. “Serious question, Sam - what do you expect me to do?”


Sam looked back at him briefly, then turned his face away from Gene, looking down at the floor. “Nothing, Guv,” he muttered. ”Nothing at all. Pretend I never said anything. Just ... don’t sack me. Please. That’s all.” He raised his head and looked straight at Gene. “Don’t make me leave. Please, Gene. Er, Guv.”


“That it? Just, don’t sack me? Seems to me I’m getting off very lightly here, Tyler. You don’t want me to put my arms around you and hold you tight? Force my mouth hotly against those rosebud lips of yours?”


Sam stared at him in confusion, completely unable to find an answer that wouldn’t incriminate himself even further


“You don’t want me to stick my tongue in your mouth as I run me ‘ands down your back to cup your sweet arse and squeeze it gently? Press you against the wall and nuzzle me face in your swollen groin as you run your hands through me gorgeous blond locks? Open your zip slowly, reverently, and run my fingers gently along the length of what looks from here to be a very healthy-sized cock?”


Sam was burning with humiliation now, and furiously angry. His breath was coming in uneven gasps, a completely unstoppable erection straining against his trousers as he glared at Gene.


“Guv, this is sexual harassment. I’m sorry if I’ve embarrassed you, but this is completely...”


He broke off suddenly as he realised that Gene was still staring at his crotch, at his trousers stretched tight over his cock.


“’Cos I will, you know, if you want me to.” Gene looked up at Sam’s face, his own giving nothing away, eyes slightly more lidded than Sam had seen before. At some point he’d stubbed out the cigarette.


Sam realised his jaw had literally dropped, and his face had flushed. Fighting for control, he said tightly “If this is your idea of a joke, Guv, I don’t think it’s very funny. It’s a totally unacceptable abuse of your power as my superior officer.”


Gene ignored his outrage and spoke again. “Or I could just take you from behind. Bend you over the table - this table - peel those very tight-fitting trousers off your delectable arse and prepare you. Smooth you, put my fingers in you – oh, so gently – and move them inside you until I find that spot where you just can’t stay still any longer. Move them further inside you until you can’t stop yourself from groaning, begging me to fuck you.”


Sam was moaning now under his breath, hips jerking, completely unable to stop himself. It didn’t help that he’d spent many a night wanking himself off to visions of the Guv doing exactly that.


“And then,” Gene continued, voice low and forceful, “when you couldn’t stand it any longer, Tyler, then I’d walk round in front so you could see me and I’d undo my own zip. Slowly, teasing you. I’d pull out my seriously big cock and stroke it, slowly at first, then harder, faster, getting it ready for you. No, better, I’d make you stroke it, make you clasp your hands around my length and spread that lube, looking at the size of me, imagining me inside you.” Gene stopped for a moment and cleared his throat, then continued. “And then when I’m really hard, I’ll push you down again and I’ll ram it in your... “


He stopped talking as Sam uttered a strangled cry, fists clenching as he came helplessly, convulsing, hips arching up from the hard chair.


Gene lit another cigarette and waited. After a while, as Sam sat up and tried to catch his breath, face still flushed with anger, Gene spoke again.


“So. Not being a great soft sissy girly like you – look at me now, Tyler – “


Sam looked up unwillingly as Gene continued to speak, staring at Sam as he did so.


  - I wouldn’t know about love, but I could fancy a bit of your pretty little arse, no problem. So if you’re offering – and I assume that you are -  “ he gave a startlingly feral grin, nodding towards Sam’s damp crotch, “I’m taking.”


Sam swallowed, feeling the relief flooding through him even as a little voice in his head whispered “Be careful what you wish for.”


“Guv?” he asked tentatively, not sure if his voice would work “At the risk of sounding ‘girly’...”


“What,” Gene scoffed, “even more than you normally do?” His tone was softer than usual though, Sam couldn’t help noticing.


“As I was saying, at the risk of sounding ‘girly’ - I don’t want just shagging. Legendary though it would no doubt be,” he added hurriedly before Gene could react. “I want ... warmth. Kissing. Lying in bed together. Waking up together.”


Gene looked at him with amusement. “Well, I’ve got news for you, Gladys. You do sound girly.” He walked round the table, finally revealing his own impressive erection. “But I’m sure we can come to some agreement.”


He put a hand on Sam’s arm and hauled him to his feet. Still holding his arm tightly, Gene leaned in and kissed him hard on the mouth, briefly pressing his groin against Sam’s hip. Then, too soon, he released Sam’s arm and stepped back, talking again.


“You get Nelson to sell you a bottle of decent Scotch for your crummy flat, Sam, and we’ll start discussions this very evening. Now go and get yourself cleaned up, my dirty DI.” He turned back towards the table and spoke over his shoulder. “I’ll see you in the pub in half an hour.”

Sam was smiling broadly as he turned towards the door. Then, determined to start this - whatever it was - as he intended it to continue, he moved back to Gene and put his arms round his neck, pulling Gene's face down for another kiss. "See you later then, Guv." He lowered his gaze meaningfully. "All of you."


He grinned as he went out, rewarded by the sight of Gene’s involuntary jerk of the hips as he smiled in reluctant admiration.





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(3 comments | Leave a comment)

[User Picture]
Date:August 16th, 2009 05:18 am (UTC)
this is awesome! i cant believe i havent read it before now :)
[User Picture]
Date:August 17th, 2009 08:11 am (UTC)
It's so lovely to get a comment on an old fic - thank you! I really enjoyed writing this one, because Gene completely took over. I hadn't intended any sex in it at all, just Sam's confession, but it works much better Gene's way!

Thanks for reading and commenting.
[User Picture]
Date:August 18th, 2009 06:36 am (UTC)
gene's way = win :)
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