The landline rings at home; I answer it:
Call Centre Person: Can I speak to Mr XXX [ie Mr DG] please?
Me: Who’s calling?
Me: And what is that?
CCP: Enviro is short for Environment.
Me: I believe I knew that. And you are...?
CCP: Enviro is a government-improved company.
Me: A government-improved company?
Me: You mean the Government has taken your company and made it better?
CCP: Yes, it’s good, isn’t it? Are you Mrs XXX?
Me: Er, yes.
CCP: So, we’ve got you and your husband down as retired home-owners. Is this correct?
Me: Why do you want to know? [In fact it's not, but I quite enjoy being politely uninformative in these calls. Their choice to ring me, after all, not mine.]
CCP: Well, if you are, you’re entitled to an incentive. It eliminates your energy bill and gives you a tax-free income on top of your pension.
Me: You’re selling solar panels, aren’t you?
CCP: Yes, we are.
Me: No thank you.
Not that I’m not interested in solar panels, but if I were actively in the market I wouldn’t be going to a company that needed the Government to make them better.
Still, at least it’s better than the person who phoned me the other day and proudly announced I was entitled to an “inventive”.