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LoMFic - No Regrets - dorsetgirl
December 28th, 2007
02:41 am
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LoMFic - No Regrets

Title:    No Regrets

Author: DorsetGirl

Fandom: Life on Mars

Disclaimer: I don’t own these characters or their universe. BBC/Kudos do. I’m not making any money out of this.

Rating: White Cortina

Warning: Implied character death

Word Count: 360

Pairing: Sam/Gene

Spoilers: 1.01 and 2.08

Summary: Never parted.

Author’s Note: I normally write Gene and Sam happy ever after. Whether you think this fits with that depends on your definition of “ever after”.  When this idea first hit me, I refused to write it, and ended up watching it instead, in extraordinary detail, crying my eyes out. In the end I decided to write down just the sparse framework without all the details, because it seems to work.

 

Doctor Jess Carling GP, daughter of Ray,  belongs to Elfbert and she has kindly given me permission to use the character. Thanks to Jayb111 for the beta.

 

 

 

 

 

No Regrets

 

 

 

Friday 2nd June 2017

 

 

“I am so sorry, Mr Hunt. Mr Tyler. There is simply nothing more we can do. In a younger man, perhaps...”

 

They both stared at the doctor, then lowered their eyes, hands reaching without conscious decision to hold tight to the only thing they had left. No hope, no remission, no more birthdays. Just the loving hands, weaker now, but holding tight as always.

 

 

 

 

Saturday 3rd June 2017

 

 

“Take me home, Sam. No point staying here any more. I want to be at home with you. If I haven’t got long to go, at least let me be in my own home. With you.”

 

 

 

 

Thursday 22nd June 2017

 

 

To: CarlingR35891@tiscali.com

From: SamandGene@TylerHunt.demon.co.uk

cc: J_Skelton@elmtree-docs.nhs.gov.uk

Subject: subject left blank

20:34:04   Thursday 22 June 2017

 

 

 

Ray,

 

I’m sending a copy of this to Jeannie; she’ll know what to do.

 

It’s time. He can’t hold on any longer, and I can’t bear to see him trying.

 

We’re going together.

 

I know you and I haven’t always seen eye to eye. It was probably inevitable. But you’ve always been a good mate to Gene, and I appreciate that. If he’d ever learned to use a computer he’d tell you himself.

 

So, thank you. Not sure what else to say except – don’t worry, this is our choice. Well, my choice I suppose, as I’m the one that’s *got* a choice. Make sure they all know that, anyone who needs to know. We’ve neither of us got family to worry about.

 

Jeannie gets the house. As she’s Gene’s doctor, it’s yours officially, I guess that looks better, but it’s for her and the kids, OK?

 

All the best,

 

 

Sam and Gene.

 

 

 

 

 

His last rational thought as he started to drift was that he didn’t regret any of it – the car crash, the rooftop, even the Cuban heels - if this was where it led.

 

He held Gene’s hand and kissed him gently. They looked into each other’s eyes and smiled, one last time; and by some chance, they both spoke together, “I love you, always,” breathed gently between them.

 

The light dimmed around them where they lay, arms around each other, as always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

END

 

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Comments
 
[User Picture]
From:sytaxia
Date:February 5th, 2008 05:26 am (UTC)
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Oh my word - this was very simple, very sparse, and left a lot to the imagination... Sam's email to Ray was just heartbreaking, and felt incredibly true and honest; there was just so much between the lines about the peace between them, and about all that the three of them had shared. It was just beautiful, and so matter-of-fact at the same time, it was spot-on Sam.

There's this show in the US, not sure if it's available in the UK, and not sure if it's still on - I haven't watched much telly in a long while - but it's called Nip/Tuck and there's a scene in the first season where a man's lover has cancer, and she's decided not to die the hard and painful way - she writes letters to all of her friends and family, then swallows down dozens of pills, all with Elton John's Rocketman playing in the background and him watching her, the actor doing an incredibly good job of making us believe that his heart is breaking and that he wants to join her. It's one of the best scenes to come out of domestic US TV in quite some time, and this reminded me so much of it - great writing always forces a reader to combine what they're reading with other things that they've seen or done, and this definitely did that, and was definitely the best of your writing so far. I just got this mental image of Gene and Sam, sitting there, typing out the email, and then swallowing massive amounts of pills and laying down in each others' arms, neither of them afraid. Not sure if that's the type of suicide that you intended, but those last few lines were just so clear to me, and it really hit home and had me start crying.

Beautiful.
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:February 6th, 2008 12:03 am (UTC)
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Thank you so much for this fantastic comment. I have heard of Nip/Tuck but I've never seen it and didn't know what it was.

Yes, that's pretty much how I saw it, with the exception that I imagined Sam mixing everything up in a drink of some sort, to make it easier for Gene. Whisky, I suppose, thinking about it.

It's lucky I was in the kitchen by myself when I first got the idea for this; normally if I get an idea I start scribbling asap, but when I realised what was happening I just decided not to, and the upshot was that I then saw it all instead, in excruciating but lovingly detailed technicolour. I just stood there and cried and cried and cried. I think it was about a week later when I finally gave in and wrote it, and a lot of the words and scenes had gone by then, leaving just the framework.

My main worry - unjustified, as it turns out - was that, having written their death, I would be unable to write any more of their life.
[User Picture]
From:sytaxia
Date:February 15th, 2008 06:43 pm (UTC)
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Gah, sorry if my initial comment was a bit all over the place - this seriously was just hearbreaking, and I'm sorry that it was so hard to write. It was just beautiful, though, and I'm very glad that you can still write LoM fics :)
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From:amethystshard
Date:February 21st, 2008 06:47 am (UTC)
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Aw, this is so sad... You made me all sniffly.
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:May 11th, 2008 09:31 pm (UTC)
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I'm sorry I didn't reply to this before now; I think for a while I wasn't getting my notifications and I've only just found this comment.

I'm sorry I made you sniffle, but in a good way, I hope. Thanks for commenting.
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From:indie_soup
Date:May 11th, 2008 05:45 pm (UTC)
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Oh my goodness. That was pure magic. There was a certain tear in my eye after reading that.
:)
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From:dorsetgirl
Date:May 11th, 2008 09:34 pm (UTC)
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Thank you very much. This one made me cry lots when I first had the idea, and I'm glad it worked for you.

I don't think I've seen you around before, so welcome to the comm - it's always lovely to have new people coming in.
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